AI-Pilled BackEnd Developers and... err, cats.

Let’s liven this ad up with facts about cats, shall we?

Humans have 5 million scent receptors. Cats have 200 million. Whoa!

However, scent receptors won’t help in this role so we say that’s Felines 0 Humans 1.

We're a fast-growing startup based in central London. We live and breathe tech. You should go back to feeding your cat if this world is not for you.

In the Godfather movie, Vito lovingly pets a grey striped tabby cat on his daughter’s wedding day. Said cat was actually a stray found in the car park and not part of the original script. This role is a bit like that - unscripted - namely you should thrive on ambiguity rather than fear it.

For us, working with tech is not just a job. It’s a craft. Yes a cliché but it’s true! We love the smell of tech in the morning. If we had you at “tech” please read on.

Here’s another fun fact about cats :-

Cats have the same number of brain cells in their cerebral cortex as brown bears. Yet a bear’s brain is 10 times larger than a cat’s. The smartest cats are Abyssinians, Siamese and Bengals. The dopiest are Persians. Don’t be a Persian.

This role is a blend of C# .NET engineering, API integration and complex technical troubleshooting. You’ll fly solo and work in close-knit teams. Did your heart just skip a beat?

A cat's heart beats up to 200 times per minute. That’s 3 times faster than the average human. Can you make our products so sexy that our customers’ hearts beat like a cat? (Hey check us out, writing ads that sound like Drake songs.)

We're looking for that lesser spotted cat: a bright, top-drawer junior engineer with strong engineering skills and compelling academic credentials. Speaking of which… Dr David Grimm, Online News Editor of Science Magazine, claims that cat owners should be treating their pets more like dogs... #catwalking.

Super-confident, pushy, ruthless, chummy with shady business people? Congratulations, you're presidential material. But you’re not for us.

However if you’re…

Smart, professional, polished, articulate, ambitious, with a thirst for knowledge and high EQ…?

Then let’s talk.

You will need demonstrable skills in C# .NET Javascript Typescript Python and Cloud (our platform of choice is AWS). If you have other tech skills to boot then you’ll be top of the class!

You’ll work closely with our end customers so excellent interpersonal skills are a must. And you’ll need to be agile enough to handle multiple work streams. More chameleon than cat really.

We’ll reward you with a fully negotiable salary plus benefits. And what’s more: the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of an ambitious, cutting-edge tech business that's set to go places.

You'll be instrumental in helping us grow. Building our product suite. So although you might not be president, at least you won’t be going to hell.

All good? Please send a CV and covering letter that shows you’ve actually read this ad (and not just skipped to the salary bit) explaining why you should get this job even if you don’t like cats. Talking of which, here’s some more fun facts to say thanks for reading all the way to the end...

Cats held great social and religious importance in ancient Egypt. The 7th chapter of the Egyptian Book of the Dead describes how the great sun god Ra takes the form of a cat to defeat Apep, the monstrous snake who is the god of chaos and evil. Meow!